With only time on my side

The future is something I try not to put too much emphasis on in my life, I guess I feel that today is just as important as tomorrow and if you live with the hope that tomorrow will be better then you miss all the great things that are happening now. Despite this I have to think what I'd like from my life, who I'd like to be and what I want to achieve. I never want to be the average joe or a face in a crowd, I want my life to mean something, I want to experience the world. Marriage is not something I believe in and I'm very much set that this one is about me. Curiosity may have killed the cat but it is my driving force and what makes me want to wake up every day my desire to know, see and feel everything I can. I want to hear everyones story and maybe tell a few why I'm at it.  I am in love with my ideas and dreams, and I want to see them in reality. No regrets, all chance taken, I don't want to waste it. xo

We all wanna change the world

War is always avoidable, and oppression is nothing to be proud of. But to call someone a war criminal for sending troops to save people from an oppressor cannot be justified. The day a man signs up to be a soldier he knows his responsibility, I have sympathy for the families of every soldier who dies in combat but I also have sympathy for the family of every person who dies in a car accident. Both individuals know the risk, if you become a soldier you sign up to fight whether that war is justified or not, when you get in a car there's always the risk of a crash. To then begin to quote the number of deaths in a war as the reason for it's 'war crime' tag line is not only unjust but unethical when looking at the number of deaths before the war, of those who we just happen to be fighting to save. I am not and never will be a war supporter but there is a difference between campaigning against the reasons behind war and those who just want to be the next John Lennon. No-one can change the world alone and if you think a stage and a microphone makes your opinion more important than others then you are sadly mistaken. A soldier signs up to risk his life just like a lion tamer knows the risks when he starts out. Sympathy is different from placing blame. This is what soldiers do, they get paid well for it, empathise with those they left behind but they chose their fate, it is commendable to give your life for the sake of others but it is also a choice and no-one is forced to sign up. I'll be mourning the innocents who have life snatched, without them ever having the chance to decide. 

Chewing on Rocks

I feel like I've had this thing niggling away at me like a loose tooth recently and today/yesterday I finally managed to pull it out. This is both happy and sad as i had begun to love that little feeling I got knowing it was there it is however now time to grow a new tooth which I very much look forward to.  I'm waving goodbye to these feelings, putting them on a ship to god knows where and letting that little fish back into the ocean, it was never mine to have and therefore it would be wrong of me to keep it. I very much enjoyed this all but sometimes you gotta see sense, brain beats heart this time. Maybe next time the heart will pound it's way out but you gotta see these sunny skies as a sign that everything is gonna be alright. xo

If a Tree falls in a forest and no-one hears it, does it make a sound?

And if two people share a kiss that no-one sees or hears about, to the rest of the world it never happened. Lies and secrets are frowned upon in this culture, yet is it not these lies that make things work. A malicious lie designed to hurt someone is obviously avoidable, but a lie to save a marriage? a lie to save someones life? can these be so wrong. I've been considering this and I believe that the lie is only wrong if you get caught out, so many people lie on a daily basis and all they are doing is using tip-ex to cover their mistakes. Nobody is perfect and maybe a little space for error is needed, that little lie that makes him still seem perfect or makes her all the more attractive, the one that makes her feel popular or makes him interesting to the girl he dreams about. Lies may set a false precedent but  I'd be lying if I said I didn't use them each and everyday.

The Great Pretender

Things over the past few weeks have been hectic, its nice to sit down and get my thoughts out again. I think after a few weeks of bouncing from person to person searching for somewhere to settle I've found myself again. i feel a lot better for it, like when you're a kid and you want a toy real bad, and you save your ass off for it and then you finally get it and it feels like the best day of your life. I've been looking and looking for this toy inside me and my inner child has fought his way right back out into the open. My child just appreciates that the good things are better than ever and the bad things, well, they have a habit of trying to drag you down but my friends are catching my arm and pulling me back up onto the cliff. I'm not an astronaut but I'm lost in space and loving every minute of it.